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英语四级作文分类 比较对照真题范文及点评 05:娱乐活动的利弊

Topic 1 2008年s月真题

Directions: For this part,you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay entitled Recreational Activities.  You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below:
1.娱乐活动多种多样
2.娱乐活动可以使人们受益,也可能带来危害
3.作为大学生,我认为……

Recreational Activities

Nowadays,there are great varieties of recreational activities in people's life. According to a recent survey conducted by CCTV the past decade has witnessed a sharp increase in the kind of recreational activities nowadays people take up to an astonishing number of 2,490,ranging from horse riding to Kara Ok,from Internet games to skating.

It goes without saying that recreational activities have both advantages and disadvantages. To begin with,recreation will relieve us the tension and discomfort by offering ways to let out emotion and bring about excitement. In addition,it broadens our horizon,which may in return help us be more creative in daily life. However, those who lack self-control would very easily get lost and become addicted to the various recreational activities.

As a college student,I think recreational activities should be done within a certain limit so that we(an strike a proper balance between recreation and study.(152词)

“一句话”点评

毫无疑问,第一段的CCTV, Kara Ok和数据将吸引阅卷老师的眼球让其首先关注,同时使用了decade ,  witness , sharp等好词和ranging分词做伴随状语,将形成良好的第一印象。注意:现象/观点阐述型的第1段通常是说一个现象,该现象基本上用一句话就可描述完。为了增加该段落的内容,建议“一句话”放在第一段,具体现象呈现后,用数例支持前面现象。而且,只要是现象,都是可以轻松地构造出具体的数例的。

快捷构思

如本范文第一、二、三段篇幅对比和划线部分模板词句所示,现象/观点阐述型的整篇构思清晰明了。各段落首句皆为段落中心句(即题目所给提纲),完全符合“黄金3原则”的谋篇原则。首段用“一句话”数例来支持,第二段为主体段分层次展开,最后一段为非主体段,提出中心后简单支持即可。

第一段:描述现象,引人该段中心“娱乐活动多种多样”。而后 “一句话”数例为具体现象展示,更加形象地说明人们参加的娱乐活动的种类惊人的多。

第二段:开门见山展现段落中心“娱乐活动可以使人们受益,也可能带来危害”。并用relieve us the tension and discomfort和broaden our horizon来支持娱乐活动的益处。同时用easily get lost and become addicted to the various recreational activities来说明其可能带来的危害。

第三段:直接展现自己的观点,并提出一个简要的原因,不做更深层次的展开。

美丽词句
(1) relieve the tension and discomfort缓解紧张和不适
(2) broaden one's horizon开拓某人的眼界
(3)become addicted to人迷,上瘾
(4) strike a proper balance between两者之间保持平衡

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