A Tale of Two Cities  双城记

And yet he did care something for the streets that environed thathouse, and for the senseless stones that made their pavements. Manya night he vaguely and unhappily wandered there, when wine had broughtno transitory gladness to him; many a dreary daybreak revealed hissolitary figure lingering there, and still lingering there when thefirst beams of the sun brought into strong relief, removed beauties ofarchitecture in spires of churches and lofty buildings, as perhaps thequiet time brought some sense of better things, else forgotten andunattainable, into his mind. Of late, the neglected bed in theTemple Court had known him more scantily than ever; and often whenhe had thrown himself upon it no longer than a few minutes, he had gotup again, and haunted that neighbourhood.

然而,他对那座房屋附近的街道和它那没有知觉的铺路石却很感兴趣。有多少个无从借酒浇愁的夜晚,他曾在那道路上茫然而忧伤地徘徊过。有多少个凄凉的破晓曾照出他逡途巡不去的孤独身影,即使当晨晰的光芒鲜明地勾勒出为黑夜隐蔽的教堂尖塔和高楼大厦的建筑之美时,他仍然在那儿流连不去。其实在那个平静的时刻,他也许是可以想起一些在别的时候被忘却的和得不到的美好事物的。近来法学会大院那张被忽视的床比过去更少跟他见面了。他常常是倒在床上不到几分钟便又翻身爬起来,又回到那一带转悠去了。

On a day in August, when Mr. Stryver (after notifying to hisjackal that "he had thought better of that marrying matter") hadcarried his delicacy into Devonshire, and when the sight and scentof flowers in the City streets had some waifs of goodness in themfor the worst, of health for the sickliest, and of youth for theoldest, Sydney's feet still trod those stones. From being irresoluteand purposeless, his feet became animated by an intention, and, in theworking out of that intention, they took him to the Doctor's door.

在一个八月的日子,那时斯特莱佛先生已对他的豺狗说明“关于婚姻问题我另有考虑”,然后带着他那体贴的柔情到德文郡去了。那时市区街道花卉的美色与馨香已能给穷途末路者以安慰、给病体支离者以健康、给老迈龙钟者以青春,可是西德尼的脚步仍然在那条路上蹀躞不去,只是由于有了设想而从迟疑无目的变得稳健有力了。在他终于下定决心之后,那双脚便把他带进了医生家的门。

He was shown up-stairs, and found Lucie at her work, alone. Shehad never been quite at her ease with him, and received him withsome little embarrassment as he seated himself near her table. But,looking up at his face in the interchange of the first fewcommon-places, she observed a change in it.

他上了楼,发现露西一个人在干活儿。露西对他一向就有些不大自然。当他在她的桌旁坐下时,她带着几分忸怩接待了他。两人谈家常时,露西抬起头来望了望他的脸,却发现了他的变化。

"I fear you are not well, Mr. Carton!"

“我担心你是病了,卡尔顿先生!”

"No. But the life I lead, Miss Manette, is not conducive tohealth. What is to be expected of, or by, such profligates?"

“没有病。不过我的生活方式是不利于健康的。这样胡混的人能有什么好结果呢?”

"Is it not- forgive me; I have begun the question on my lips- a pityto live no better life?"

“要是不能过一种更好的生活岂不遗憾么?对不起,我话到口边就顺嘴说了出来。”

"God knows it is a shame!"

“上帝知道,确实遗憾!”

"Then why not change it?"

“那你为什么不改一改呢?”

Looking gently at him again, she was surprised and saddened to seethat there were tears in his eyes. There were tears in his voicetoo, as he answered:

她再温和地望他时却吃了一惊,感到不安了。他眼里噙着泪水,回答时口气也带着泪水:

"It is too late for that. I shall never be better than I am. I shallsink lower, and be worse."

“太晚了。我怕是好不起来了。只能越来越堕落,越来越糟糕。”

He leaned an elbow on her table, and covered his eyes with his hand.The table trembled in the silence that followed.

他把一只胳膊靠在桌上,用手遮住了眼睛。在随之而来的沉默里那桌子颤动着。

She had never seen him softened, and was much distressed. He knewher to be so, without looking at her, and said:

她从没见他软弱过,因此很觉难受。他知道她难受,却没有抬头看她,只说:

"Pray forgive me, Miss Manette. I break down before the knowledge ofwhat I want to say to you. Will you hear me?"

“请原谅,曼内特小姐。我是因为想起我打算向你说的话才忍不住流泪的。你愿听听我的话么?”

"If it will do you any good, Mr. Carton, if it would make youhappier, it would make me very glad!"

“若是对你有好处的话,卡尔顿先生,只要能让你好过一些,我很乐意听!”

"God bless you for your sweet compassion!"

“上帝保右你的好心与体贴。”

He unshaded his face after a little while, and spoke steadily.

过了一会儿,他从脸上放下了手,平静地说了下去。

"Don't be afraid to hear me. Don't shrink from anything I say. Iam like one who died young. All my life might have been."

“不要怕听我说话,也别怕我要说的话。我很像是个在青年时代就已夭亡的人,一辈子也没有希望了。”

"No, Mr. Carton. I am sure that the best part of it might stillbe; I am sure that you might be much, much worthier of yourself."

“不,卡尔顿先生,我相信你最好的年华还在前头。我可以肯定你能非常非常值得自己骄傲。”

"Say of you, Miss Manette, and although I know better- although inthe mystery of my own wretched heart I know better- I shall neverforget it!"

“希望是值得你骄傲,曼内特小姐。虽然我还有自知之明——虽然我这苦闷的心让我神秘地产生了自知之明——但我会永远也忘不了的。”

She was pale and trembling. He came to her relief with a fixeddespair of himself which made the interview unlike any other thatcould have been holden.

她的脸色苍白了,她战栗起来。幸好此时他对自己表示了无法改变的失望,才令她安下了心。于是这场会晤便具有了跟其它任何谈话不同的性质。

"If it had been possible, Miss Manette, that you could have returnedthe love of the man you see before you- self-flung away, wasted,drunken, poor creature of misuse as you know him to be- he wouldhave been conscious this day and hour, in spite of his happiness, thathe would bring you to misery, bring you to sorrow and repentance,blight you, disgrace you, pull you down with him. I know very wellthat you can have no tenderness for me; I ask for none; I am eventhankful that it cannot be."

“即使你有可能回报你眼前的人的倾慕之情,曼内特小姐,他此时此刻也明白自己是个自暴自弃的、虚弱可怜的、不得志的酒徒(这你是知道的)。尽管他会感到幸福,但他却难免会使你痛苦、悲哀和悔恨,难免会玷污了你、辱没了你,拖着你跟他一起堕落。我很明白你对我不可能有什么温情;我并不祈求;我甚至为此感谢上苍。”

"Without it, can I not save you, Mr. Carton? Can I not recall you-forgive me again!- to a better course? Can I in no way repay yourconfidence? I know this is a confidence," she modestly said, after alittle hesitation, and in earnest tears, "I know you would say this tono one else. Can I turn it to no good account for yourself, Mr.Carton?"

“撇开这个问题不谈,我能对你有所帮助吗,卡尔顿先生?我能不能让你走上新的道路呢?——请原谅!我难道就没有办法回报你对我的信任么?我知道这是一种信任的表现。”她略微犹豫了一下,流着真诚的泪,娴静地说,“我知道你是不会对别人说这样的话的。我能不能使这事对你有好处呢,卡尔顿先生?”

He shook his head.

他摇摇头。

"To none. No, Miss Manette, to none. If you will hear me through avery little more, all you can ever do for me is done. I wish you toknow that you have been the last dream of my soul. In my degradation Ihave not been so degraded but that the sight of you with yourfather, and of this home made such a home by you, has stirred oldshadows that I thought had died out of me. Since I knew you, I havebeen troubled by a remorse that I thought would never reproach meagain, and have heard whispers from old voices impelling me upward,that I thought were silent for ever. I have had unformed ideas ofstriving afresh, beginning anew, shaking off sloth and sensuality, andfighting out the abandoned fight. A dream, all a dream, that ends innothing, and leaves the sleeper where he lay down, but I wish you toknow that you inspired it."

“不行。曼内特小姐,不行。如果体能再听我说几句,你也就尽了你最大的努力了。我希望你知道你是我灵魂的最终的梦想。我是在我堕落的生活中见到了你和你的父亲,还有你所经营的这个甜蜜的家,才恢复了我心中自以为早已死灭的往日的梦想的。我也因此才感到比任何时候都凄苦可怜。自从我见到你以后,我才为一种原以为不会再谴责我的悔恨所苦恼。我听见我以为早已永远沉默的往日的声音在悄悄地催我上进。我曾有过许多没有成形的想法:重新奋起,改弦更张,摆脱懒散放纵的习惯,把放弃了的斗争进行下去。可那只是个梦,整个儿是个梦,一个没有结果的梦,醒来时还躺在原来的地方,不过我仍希望你知道你曾唤起过我这样的梦。”

"Will nothing of it remain? O Mr. Carton, think again! Try again!"

“难道那梦就一点也不能留下么?啊,卡尔顿先生,梦里我都知道自己是很不配的。然而我一向便有,至今也有这个弱点。我总希望你知道你是怎样突然控制了我,让我这一堆死灰燃起了火焰的一—可是这火焰因为它的本质跟我难以分开,所以并没有点燃什么,照亮什么,做到什么,就一事无成地燃烧完了。”

"No, Miss Manette; all through it, I have known myself to be quiteundeserving. And yet I have had the weakness, and have still theweakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindledme, heap of ashes that I am, into fire- a fire, however, inseparablein its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doingno service, idly burning away."

“既然,卡尔顿先生,是我的不幸使你比见到我之前更悲哀,那么——”

"Since it is my misfortune, Mr. Carton, to have made you moreunhappy than you were before you knew me--"

“别那么说,曼内特小姐,因为若是世上还有东西能拯救我,你早就拯救了我了。你不会使我更悲哀的。”

"Don't say that, Miss Manette, for you would have reclaimed me, ifanything could. You will not be the cause of my becoming worse."

“既然你所描写的心情大体可以归结为我的影响——简而言之,这是我的感觉——我难道就无法产生有利于你的影响了么?我难道就完全不能对你产生好的影响了么?”

"Since the state of your mind that you describe, is, at allevents, attributable to some influence of mine- this is what I mean,if I can make it plain- can I use no influence to serve you? Have I nopower for good, with you, at all?"

“我现在所能获得的最大好处,曼内特小姐,正是我到这儿来想得到的。让我在今后迷失方向的生活中永远记住我曾向你袒露过我的心,这是我最后的一次袒露。我要记住,我此时留下了一些能让你悲痛和惋惜的东西。”

"The utmost good that I am capable of now, Miss Manette, I have comehere to realise. Let me carry through the rest of my misdirected life,the remembrance that I opened my heart to you, last of all theworld; and that there was something left in me at this time whichyou could deplore and pity."

“这些都可以改变的,我曾一再最热诚地、衷心地请求你相信

"Which I entreated you to believe, again and again, mostfervently, with all my heart, was capable of better things, Mr.Carton!"

“别再请求我相信了,曼内特小姐。我已经考验过自己,也更了解自己。可是,我令你难过了。让我赶快说完吧!你是否能让我在回忆起现在时相信我生活中最后的一番知心话是保存在你那纯洁真诚的心胸里的,它将在那儿独自存在,不会让任何人知道?”

"Entreat me to believe it no more, Miss Manette. I have provedmyself, and I know better. I distress you; I draw fast to an end. Willyou let me believe, when I recall this day, that the last confidenceof my life was reposed in your pure and innocent breast, and that itlies there alone, and will be shared by no one?"

“如果那对你是一种安慰,我答应。”

"If that will be a consolation to you, yes."

“连你最亲爱的人也不让知道?”

"Not even by the dearest one ever to be known to you?"

“卡尔顿先生,”她很激动,过了一会儿才说,“这是你的秘密,不是我的秘密,我保证尊重它。”,

"Mr. Carton," she answered, after an agitated pause, "the secretis yours, not mine; and I promise to respect it."

“谢谢你。再说一句,上帝保佑你。”

"Thank you. And again, God bless you."

他把她的手在唇边放了放,然后向门口走去。

He put her hand to his lips, and moved towards the door.

“别担心我会继续这次谈话,曼内特小姐,即使是顺便提起。我是永远也不会再提起的了。就算让我死去也不会有更可靠的保证的。在我死去时,这个美好的回忆对我也将是神圣的——为此,我还要感谢你、祝福你——我最后的一句誓言是向你作出的,而我的名字、缺点和痛苦都将温柔地存留在你的心里。还能有什么比这更令人轻松和快乐的呢!”

"Be under no apprehension, Miss Manette, of my ever resuming thisconversation by so much as a passing word. I will never refer to itagain. If I were dead, that could not be surer than it ishenceforth. In the hour of my death, I shall hold sacred the onegood remembrance- and shall thank and bless you for it- that my lastavowal of myself was made to you, and that my name, and faults, andmiseries were gently carried in your heart. May it otherwise belight and happy!"

他跟他一向的表现多么不同啊,想想看,他放弃了多少东西啊!他每天又压抑和扭曲了多少感情啊!想到这一切不免令人痛苦。在他停步回头望她时,露西.曼内特伤心地哭了。

He was so unlike what he had ever shown himself to be, and it was sosad to think how much he had thrown away, and how much he every daykept down and perverted, that Lucie Manette wept mournfully for him ashe stood looking back at her.

“别难过!”他说,“我配不上你这种感情,曼内特小姐。一两个小时之后,我瞧不起却又摆不掉的卑劣伙伴和恶劣习性又会把我变得比流浪街头的可怜虫更不配你的眼泪了!但在内心里我对你将永远是现在的我,虽然外表上我仍是你一向在这儿所见到的样子。我对你提出的倒数第二个请求是:相信我的这番话。”

"Be comforted!" he said, "I am not worth such feeling, Miss Manette.An hour or two hence, and the low companions and low habits that Iscorn but yield to, will render me less worth such tears as those,than any wretch who creeps along the streets. Be comforted! But,within myself, I shall always be, towards you, what I am now, thoughoutwardly I shall be what you have heretofore seen me. The lastsupplication but one I make to you, is, that you will believe thisof me."

“我会的,卡尔顿先生。”

"I will, Mr. Carton."

“我的最后请求是这样的——提出它之后我就让你摆脱一个我深知跟你毫无共鸣的、无法沟通的客人。我虽知道说也无用,但也知道我的话出自灵魂。我愿为你和为你所爱的人做任何事。若是我的事业条件较优,有作出牺牲的机会或能力,我愿抓住一切机会为你和你所爱的人作出任何牺牲。在你心平气和时请记住:我说这话时是热情的、真挚的。你将建立起新的关系,那日子已经不远。那关系将会更加温情而有力地把你跟你所装点经营的家连结在一起——一个永远为你增光、令你幸福的最亲密的关系。啊,曼内特小姐,在一个跟他幸福的父亲长相一祥的小生命抬起头来望着你的脸时,在你看到你自己光彩照人的美貌重新出现在你的脚下时,请不时地想起有这么一个人,他为了让你所爱的人留在你的身边是不惜牺牲他的生命的。”

"My last supplication of all, is this; and with it, I will relieveyou of a visitor with whom I well know you have nothing in unison, andbetween whom and you there is an impassable space. It is useless tosay it, I know, but it rises out of my soul. For you, and for any dearto you, I would do anything. If my career were of that better kindthat there was any opportunity or capacity of sacrifice in it, I wouldembrace any sacrifice for you and for those dear to you. Try to holdme in your mind, at some quiet times, as ardent and sincere in thisone thing. The time will come, the time will not be long in coming,when new ties will be formed about you- ties that will bind you yetmore tenderly and strongly to the home you so adorn- the dearestties that will ever grace and gladden you. O Miss Manette, when thelittle picture of a happy father's face looks up in yours, when yousee your own bright beauty springing up anew at your feet, think nowand then that there is a man who would give his life, to keep a lifeyou love beside you!"

他说了声,“再见!”最后道一声“上帝保佑你!”然后便离开了。

He said, "Farewell!" said a last "God bless you!" and left her.