Of Human Bondage  人性的枷锁

‘Here’s Master Philip,’ said Emma.

"菲利普少爷来了,"埃玛说。

Mr. Carey stood up slowly and shook hands with the little boy. Then on second thoughts he bent down and kissed his forehead. He was a man of somewhat less than average height, inclined to corpulence, with his hair, worn long, arranged over the scalp so as to conceal his baldness. He was clean-shaven. His features were regular, and it was possible to imagine that in his youth he had been good-looking. On his watch-chain he wore a gold cross.

凯里先生慢腾腾地站起身来同小孩握手,一转念,又弯下腰在孩子额头上亲了亲。凯里先生的个头中等偏下,身子开始发福。他蓄着长发,有意让它盖住光秃的头顶。胡子刮得光光的,五官端正,不难想象,他年轻时相貌一定很帅。他的表链上挂着一枚金质十字架。

‘You’re going to live with me now, Philip,’ said Mr. Carey. ‘Shall you like that?’

"打现在起你要跟我一起过日子了,菲利普,"凯里先生说,"你愿意吗?"

Two years before Philip had been sent down to stay at the vicarage after an attack of chicken-pox; but there remained with him a recollection of an attic and a large garden rather than of his uncle and aunt.

菲利普两年前出水痘时,曾被送到这位教区牧师的家里呆过一阵子;但今天能回忆起来的,只是那儿的一间顶楼和一个大花园,对于他的伯父和伯母却没有什么印象。

‘Yes.’

"愿意。"

‘You must look upon me and your Aunt Louisa as your father and mother.’

"你得把我和你的路易莎伯母看作自己的父母。"

The child’s mouth trembled a little, he reddened, but did not answer.

孩子的嘴唇微微哆嗦了一下,小脸蛋蓦地红了起来,但是他没吱声。

‘Your dear mother left you in my charge.’

"你亲爱的妈妈把你托付给我照管了。"

Mr. Carey had no great ease in expressing himself. When the news came that his sister-in-law was dying, he set off at once for London, but on the way thought of nothing but the disturbance in his life that would be caused if her death forced him to undertake the care of her son. He was well over fifty, and his wife, to whom he had been married for thirty years, was childless; he did not look forward with any pleasure to the presence of a small boy who might be noisy and rough. He had never much liked his sister-in-law.

凯里先生不善于辞令,这会儿不知该说些什么是好。他一得到弟媳病危的消息,立即动身前来伦敦。他一路上没想别的,只是在担心要是弟媳果真有什么不测,自己就得负起照管她儿子的责任,这辈子休想再过什么太平日子。他年逾半百,结婚已经三十年,妻子没生过一男半女;到了这把年纪,他可不乐意家里凭空冒出个小男孩来,说不定还是个成天爱大声嚷嚷、举止粗野的小子哩。再说,他对这位弟媳从来没有多少好感。

‘I’m going to take you down to Blackstable tomorrow,’ he said.

"我明天就打算带你去布莱克斯泰勃,"他说。

‘With Emma?’

"埃玛也一块儿去?"

The child put his hand in hers, and she pressed it.

孩子将小手伸进埃玛的手掌,埃玛将它紧紧攥住。

‘I’m afraid Emma must go away,’ said Mr. Carey.

"恐怕埃玛得离开你了,"凯里先生说。

‘But I want Emma to come with me.’

"可我要埃玛跟我一块儿去。"

Philip began to cry, and the nurse could not help crying too. Mr. Carey looked at them helplessly.

菲利普哇的一声哭开了,保姆也忍不住潜然泪下。凯里先生一筹莫展地望着他们。

‘I think you’d better leave me alone with Master Philip for a moment.’

"我想,最好让我单独同菲利普少爷谈一下。"

‘Very good, sir.’

"好的,先生。"

Though Philip clung to her, she released herself gently. Mr. Carey took the boy on his knee and put his arm round him.

尽管菲利普死命拉住她,但她还是温存地让孩子松开了手。凯里先生把孩子抱到膝头上,用胳臂勾着他。

‘You mustn’t cry,’ he said. ‘You’re too old to have a nurse now. We must see about sending you to school.’

"你不该哭鼻子哟,"凯里先生说。"你现在大了,不该再用保姆啦。我们得想法子送你去上学。"

‘I want Emma to come with me,’ the child repeated.

"我要埃玛跟我一块儿去,"孩子又嘀咕了一遍。

‘It costs too much money, Philip. Your father didn’t leave very much, and I don’t know what’s become of it. You must look at every penny you spend.’

"这样开销太大了,菲利普。你爸爸本没留下多少钱,不知道现在还剩下几个子儿呢。你得好好算计算计,一个便士也不能随便乱花。"

Mr. Carey had called the day before on the family solicitor. Philip’s father was a surgeon in good practice, and his hospital appointments suggested an established position; so that it was a surprise on his sudden death from blood-poisoning to find that he had left his widow little more than his life insurance and what could be got for the lease of their house in Bruton Street. This was six months ago; and Mrs. Carey, already in delicate health, finding herself with child, had lost her head and accepted for the lease the first offer that was made. She stored her furniture, and, at a rent which the parson thought outrageous, took a furnished house for a year, so that she might suffer from no inconvenience till her child was born. But she had never been used to the management of money, and was unable to adapt her expenditure to her altered circumstances. The little she had slipped through her fingers in one way and another, so that now, when all expenses were paid, not much more than two thousand pounds remained to support the boy till he was able to earn his own living. It was impossible to explain all this to Philip and he was sobbing still.

就在前一天,凯里先生走访了家庭律师。菲利普的父亲是位医术高明的外科医生。他在医院担任的各种职务表明,他在医务界已占得一席之地。所以,当他猝然死于血中毒症,人们看到他留给遗孀的财产只有一笔人寿保险金,以及出赁他们在布鲁顿街的那幢房子所收得的租金时,都感到十分意外。那是六个月以前的情况;当时凯里太太身体已十分虚弱,又发觉自己怀了孩子,于是一有人提出要租那幢房子,就稀里糊涂地同意了。她把自己的家具堆藏起来,另外租住进一幢附带全套家具陈设的房子,赁期一年,而租金呢,在那位牧师大伯看来,简直高得吓人。她之所以这么做,为的是在孩子出世前能顺顺当当地过一段日子。但是她从来不善于当家理财,也不懂得节衣缩食,量人为出,以适应境遇的改变。为数本来很有限的钱财,就这样东花一点,西用一点,差不多全从她的指缝里漏掉了。到现在,一切开销付清之后,剩下的不过两千镑多一些,孩子在独立谋生之前,就得靠这笔钱来维持生活。所有这一切又怎么同菲利普讲呢,而这个孩子还在一个劲儿哭鼻子。

‘You’d better go to Emma,’ Mr. Carey said, feeling that she could console the child better than anyone.

"你还是找埃玛去吧,"凯里先生说,他觉得安慰孩子的本事恐怕埃玛比谁都强。

Without a word Philip slipped off his uncle’s knee, but Mr. Carey stopped him.

菲利普不声不响地从大伯的膝盖上溜了下来,但凯里先生随即又将他拦住。

‘We must go tomorrow, because on Saturday I’ve got to prepare my sermon, and you must tell Emma to get your things ready today. You can bring all your toys. And if you want anything to remember your father and mother by you can take one thing for each of them. Everything else is going to be sold.’

"我们明天就得动身,因为星期六我还要准备布道讲稿。你得关照埃玛今天就把行装收拾停当。你可以把所有的玩具都带上,要是想要点父母的遗物留作纪念,你可以各留下一件。其余的东西全要卖掉。"

The boy slipped out of the room. Mr. Carey was unused to work, and he turned to his correspondence with resentment. On one side of the desk was a bundle of bills, and these filled him with irritation. One especially seemed preposterous. Immediately after Mrs. Carey’s death Emma had ordered from the florist masses of white flowers for the room in which the dead woman lay. It was sheer waste of money. Emma took far too much upon herself. Even if there had been no financial necessity, he would have dismissed her.

孩子悄悄地走进客厅。凯里先生一向不习惯伏案工作,这会儿,他怀着一肚子怨气继续写他的信。书桌的一头,放着一叠帐单,这些玩意儿使他怒火中烧。其中有一张显得特别荒唐。凯里太太刚咽气,埃玛立即向花商订购了大批白花,用来布置死者的房间。这纯粹是浪费钱。埃玛不知分寸,竟敢这么自作主张。即使生活很宽裕,他也要将她辞掉。

But Philip went to her, and hid his face in her bosom, and wept as though his heart would break. And she, feeling that he was almost her own son—she had taken him when he was a month old—consoled him with soft words. She promised that she would come and see him sometimes, and that she would never forget him; and she told him about the country he was going to and about her own home in Devonshire—her father kept a turnpike on the high-road that led to Exeter, and there were pigs in the sty, and there was a cow, and the cow had just had a calf—till Philip forgot his tears and grew excited at the thought of his approaching journey. Presently she put him down, for there was much to be done, and he helped her to lay out his clothes on the bed. She sent him into the nursery to gather up his toys, and in a little while he was playing happily.

但是菲利普却赶紧跑到埃玛身边,一头扑倒在她怀里,哭得好不伤心。菲利普出世后一个月就一直由埃玛照领,而她也差不多把菲利普当亲生儿子看待。她好言哄劝,答应以后有空就来看他,决不会将他忘掉;她给菲利普讲了他所要去的那个地方的风土人情,接着又讲了自己德文郡老家的一些情况---一她父亲在通往埃克塞特的公路上看守税卡;她老家的猪圈里养了好多猪:另外还养了一头母牛,且刚生下一头牛犊--菲利普听着听着,不但忘掉了刚刚还在淌眼泪,而且想到这趟近在眼前的旅行还渐渐兴奋起来。过了一会儿,埃玛把他放到地上,她还有好多事要做呢。菲利普帮着把自己的衣服一件件拿出来,放在床上。她叫他到幼儿室去把玩具收拢来,不多一会儿,他就高高兴兴地玩开了。

But at last he grew tired of being alone and went back to the bed-room, in which Emma was now putting his things into a big tin box; he remembered then that his uncle had said he might take something to remember his father and mother by. He told Emma and asked her what he should take.

最后,他一个人玩腻了,又回到卧室来。埃玛正忙着把他的衣物用品收进大铁皮箱里。这时,菲利普忽然想起伯父说过他可以拿件把父母亲的遗物留作纪念。他把这事对埃玛说了,并问她应该挑选什么。

‘You’d better go into the drawing-room and see what you fancy.’

"你最好上客厅去看看有什么你喜欢的。"

‘Uncle William’s there.’

"威廉大伯在那儿呐。"

‘Never mind that. They’re your own things now.’

"没关系,那些东西现在都是属于你的嘛。"

Philip went downstairs slowly and found the door open. Mr. Carey had left the room. Philip walked slowly round. They had been in the house so short a time that there was little in it that had a particular interest to him. It was a stranger’s room, and Philip saw nothing that struck his fancy. But he knew which were his mother’s things and which belonged to the landlord, and presently fixed on a little clock that he had once heard his mother say she liked. With this he walked again rather disconsolately upstairs. Outside the door of his mother’s bed-room he stopped and listened. Though no one had told him not to go in, he had a feeling that it would be wrong to do so; he was a little frightened, and his heart beat uncomfortably; but at the same time something impelled him to turn the handle. He turned it very gently, as if to prevent anyone within from hearing, and then slowly pushed the door open. He stood on the threshold for a moment before he had the courage to enter. He was not frightened now, but it seemed strange. He closed the door behind him. The blinds were drawn, and the room, in the cold light of a January afternoon, was dark. On the dressing-table were Mrs. Carey’s brushes and the hand mirror. In a little tray were hairpins. There was a photograph of himself on the chimney-piece and one of his father. He had often been in the room when his mother was not in it, but now it seemed different. There was something curious in the look of the chairs. The bed was made as though someone were going to sleep in it that night, and in a case on the pillow was a night-dress.

菲利普缓步走到楼下,发现客厅门开着。凯里先生已经走开了。菲利普慢慢悠悠地转了一圈。他们刚来这儿不久,屋里几乎没有什么东西特别使他感兴趣。这是某个陌生人的屋子,里面看不到一件合他心意的东西;不过他还是能分辨出哪些是母亲的遗物,哪些是房东的物品。这时,他的目光停留在一只小钟上,记得有一回曾听到母亲说起她很喜欢它。菲利普拿着小钟,闷闷不乐地上楼来。他走到母亲的卧室门外,霍地停住脚步,侧耳细听。虽然谁也没关照他别进去,但他总有种感觉,似乎自己不该贸然闯入。菲利普有几分畏惧之意,心儿怦怦乱跳不止;同时却又有那么几分好奇,驱使他去扭动门把。他轻轻地旋转门把,似乎生怕被里面的人听见,随后把门一点一点推开。他在门槛上站立了片刻,最后鼓足勇气走了进去。现在他已无惧意,只是觉得眼前有点陌生。他随手把门带上。百叶窗关着,窗缝里透进几缕一月午后清冷的日光,屋里显得很幽暗。梳妆台上放着凯里太太的发刷和一把带柄面镜。一只小盘里有几只发夹。壁炉架上摆着一张他自己的照片,还有一张父亲的照片。过去,他常趁母亲不在的时候上这儿来;可现在,这屋子似乎变了样。那几张椅子的模样,看上去还真有点怪。床铺理得整整齐齐,好像当晚有人要来就寝似的。枕头边有只套袋,里面放着件睡衣。

Philip opened a large cupboard filled with dresses and, stepping in, took as many of them as he could in his arms and buried his face in them. They smelt of the scent his mother used. Then he pulled open the drawers, filled with his mother’s things, and looked at them: there were lavender bags among the linen, and their scent was fresh and pleasant. The strangeness of the room left it, and it seemed to him that his mother had just gone out for a walk. She would be in presently and would come upstairs to have nursery tea with him. And he seemed to feel her kiss on his lips.

菲利普打开大衣柜,里面挂满了衣服,他一脚跨进柜子,张开手臂尽可能多地抱了一抱衣服,将脸埋在衣堆里。衣服上温馨犹存,那是母亲生前所用香水散发出的香味。然后,他拉开抽屉,里面放满了母亲的衣饰用品。他细加端详:内衣里夹着几只薰衣草袋,散发着沁人心脾的阵阵清香。屋子里那种陌生气氛顿时消失了,他恍惚觉得母亲只是刚刚外出散步,待会儿就要回来的,而且还要到楼上幼儿室来同他一起用茶点。他的嘴唇甚至依稀感觉到了母亲给他的亲吻。

It was not true that he would never see her again. It was not true simply because it was impossible. He climbed up on the bed and put his head on the pillow. He lay there quite still.

说他再也见不着妈妈了,这可没说对。见不着妈妈?这怎么可能呢!菲利普爬上床,把头搁在枕头上。他一动不动地躺在那儿。
<p> </p>
<p>第二章</p>
<p>一个星期之后。翁斯洛花园街上的沃特金小姐公馆。菲利普正坐在客厅的地板上。他没有兄弟姐妹,已习惯于独个儿玩耍取乐。客厅里摆满了厚实的家具,每张长沙发上都有三只大靠垫。每张安乐椅上也放着一只椅垫。菲利普把这些软垫全拿过来,又借助于几张轻巧而易于挪动的镀金雕花靠背椅,煞费苦心地搭成个洞穴。他藏身在这儿,就可以躲开那些潜伏在帷幔后面的印第安人。菲利普把耳朵贴近地板,谛听野牛群在草原上狂奔疾驰。不一会儿,他听见门打开了,赶紧销声敛息,生怕被人发现;但是,一只有力的手猛地拖开靠背椅,软垫纷纷跌落在地。</p>
<p>&quot;淘气鬼,你要惹沃特金小姐生气啦。&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;你好啊,埃玛?&quot;他说。</p>
<p>保姆弯下腰吻了吻他,然后将软垫抖抖干净,一只只放回原处。</p>
<p>&quot;我该回家了,是吗?&quot;他问道。</p>
<p>&quot;是呀,我特地来领你的。&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;你穿了件新衣裙哩。&quot;</p>
<p>这是一八八五年。她身上穿一件黑天鹅绒裙袍,腰里衬着裙撑,窄袖削肩,裙子上镶了三条宽荷叶边;头上戴一顶系有天鹅绒饰带的黑色无边帽。她犹豫起来。她原以为孩子一见面,一定会提出那个问题,结果压根儿没提,这一来,她预先准备好的回答也就无从出口了。</p>
<p>&quot;你不想问问你妈妈身体好吗?&quot;最后她只好自己这么说了。</p>
<p>&quot;噢,我忘了。妈妈身体好吗?&quot;</p>
<p>埃玛这会儿胸有成竹。</p>
<p>&quot;你妈妈身体很好,也很快活。&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;哦,我真高兴。&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;你妈妈已经去了,你再也见不着她了。&quot;</p>
<p>菲利普没听懂她的意思。</p>
<p>&quot;为什么见不着了?&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;你妈妈已在天国里了。&quot;</p>
<p>埃玛失声痛哭,菲利普虽不完全明白是怎么回事,但也跟着号喝起来。埃玛是个高身材、宽骨架的妇人,一头金头,长得粗眉大眼。她是德文郡人,尽管在伦敦帮佣多年,却始终乡音未改。她这么一哭可真动了感情,难以自禁;她一把将孩子紧搂在怀里。她心头隐隐生出一股怜悯之情:这可怜的孩子被剥夺了他在人世间唯一的爱,那种自古至今纯属无私的爱。眼看着非得把他交到陌生人手里,真有点叫人心寒。过了不多一会儿,她渐渐平静下来。</p>
<p>&quot;你威廉大伯正等着见你呢,&quot;她说,&quot;去对沃特金小姐说声再见,我们要回家了。&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;我不想去说什么再见,&quot;他回答说。出于本能,他不想让人看到自己在哭鼻子。</p>
<p>&quot;好吧,那就快上楼去拿帽子。&quot;</p>
<p>菲利普拿了帽子,回到楼下,埃玛正在门厅里等着。菲利普听到餐室后面的书房里有人在说话。他站定身子。他明白是沃特金小姐和她姐姐在同朋友谈心;他这个九岁的孩子似乎感到,要是自己这时候闯进去,说不定她们会为他伤心难过的。</p>
<p>&quot;我想我还是应该去对沃特金小姐说声再见。&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;我想也是去说一声的好,&quot;埃玛说。</p>
<p>&quot;那你就进去通报说我来了,&quot;他说。</p>
<p>菲利普希望能充分利用这次机会。埃玛敲敲门,走了进去。他听见她说:</p>
<p>&quot;小姐,菲利普少爷向您告别来了。&quot;</p>
<p>谈话声戛然而止;菲利普一瘸一拐地走了进来。亨丽埃塔。沃特金是个身材敦实的女子,脸色红润,头发是染过的。在那个年头,染发颇招物议,记得教母刚把头发染了的那阵子,菲利普在自己家里就听到过不少闲话。沃特金小姐和姐姐住在一起。这位姐姐乐天知命,打算就此安心养老了。有两位菲利普不认识的太太正在这儿作客,她们用好奇的眼光打量着菲利普。</p>
<p>&quot;我可怜的孩子。&quot;沃特金小姐说着张开了双臂。</p>
<p>她呜呜哭了起来。菲利普这会儿明白过来为什么她刚才没在家吃午饭,为什么今天她要穿一身黑衣。沃特金小姐呜咽着说不出话来。</p>
<p>&quot;我得回家去了,&quot;菲利普最后这么说。</p>
<p>菲利普从沃特金小姐怀里脱出身来;她又一次来了亲这孩子。然后,菲利普走到教母的姐姐跟前,也对她说了声再见。陌生太太中的一位问菲利普是否可以让她吻一下,菲利普一本正经地表示可以。虽说他在不住流眼泪,但是对于眼前这种由自己引起的伤感场面,倒觉得挺带劲的。他很乐意再在这儿多呆一会,让她们在自己身上淋漓尽致地发泄一通,不过又感到她们巴不得自己快点走开,于是便推说埃玛正在等他,径自走出了书房。埃玛已到地下室同她的女友拉家常去了,菲利普就守在楼梯平台处等她。他能听到亨丽埃塔·沃特金的说话声音。</p>
<p>&quot;他母亲是我最要好的朋友。想到她竟这么去了,心里真受不了。&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;你本来就不该去参加葬礼,亨丽埃塔,&quot;她姐姐说,&quot;我知道你去了会难过的。&quot;</p>
<p>一位女客接口了。</p>
<p>&quot;可怜的小家伙,就这么孤苦伶仃地活在人世上,想想也可怕。我见他走路腿还有点瘸呢!&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;是呀,他生下来一只脚就是畸形的。因为这个,他母亲生前可伤心哩。&quot;</p>
<p>这时,埃玛回来了。他们叫了一辆马车,埃玛将去处告诉了车夫。</p>