烦人的橙子： Hey! Hey guys, what's so funny?
(Fruit Basket fruits are catalling and greeting)
烦人的橙子： Hey! Hey, Apple!
墨西哥辣椒：Are you talking to me? Hello, my orange friend.
烦人的橙子： Hey, Apple! How'd you get so skinny?
青苹果： Hey, he's not an apple!
克莱门氏小柑橘： Yeah, shut up, Orange.
青苹果： It's okay. Go on, Chili Gordo.
烦人的橙子： (snickers) You called Apple "Gordo."
墨西哥辣椒：Yes, yes she did. You see Orange, I have many names.
烦人的橙子： Like Apple.
墨西哥辣椒：No, I am not an apple. My name is... Jalapeño.
(The Fruit Basket fruits scream)
克莱门氏小柑橘： He's so hot!
(Title card rolls in)
烦人的橙子： Hey, hey Gordo!
墨西哥辣椒：Yes, my orange friend.
烦人的橙子： I thought you were hot.
烦人的橙子： So why do they call you "chili"? (laughs)
Papaya: Hey, shut up, Orange! You're being so stupid; stop it!
烦人的橙子： Geez, talk about a bowl movement. (laughs)
桃子： Mr. Jalapeño, I have this friend and like, she was wondering if you'd ever be interested in... in a peach?
桃子： (dissapointed) Oh...
墨西哥辣椒：I would be more than interested. (Peach becomes happy) And please, tell your friend she looks quite lovely today.
(Fruit Basket fruits are gasping and admiring)
梨子： Oh, my God. You are so smooth. Orange, did you see that? How does he do that?
烦人的橙子： Don't ask me. How am I supposed to Jalape-know? (laughs)
墨西哥辣椒：(chucles) Touché, Orange.
墨西哥辣椒：You know Orange, you remind me of someone.
克莱门氏小柑橘： Please don't say me. Please don't say me.
墨西哥辣椒：Yes, you see, my friend, I wasn't always so smooth.
(there comes a flashback that shows a much younger Jalapeño)
墨西哥辣椒：Hey, hey, Habanero, hey!
墨西哥辣椒：Can you do this? ♪ Lalalalalalalalalalala ♪
朝天椒： Hey, knock it off.
墨西哥辣椒：♪ Tralalalalalalalala ♪
朝天椒： Knock it off!
(Jalapeño laughs and habanero groans)
墨西哥辣椒：Knife. (Habanero gets cut in half and Jalapeño screams. Flashback ends)
墨西哥辣椒：Ah, was I ever so young?
桃子： Aww, he's so deep.
烦人的橙子： Hey! Hey, Gordo. Do you want to hear me sing?
墨西哥辣椒：Yes, very much.
Orange starts singing randomly and making tongue noises)
烦人的橙子： It's a show stopper.
梨子： Seriously dude, I'm not with him.
墨西哥辣椒：Orange, you have no talent.
烦人的橙子： Geez, that's not smooth.
墨西哥辣椒：But... you possess something more precious. You, my friend, are full of... pasión.
烦人的橙子： No, I'm not. That's just citrus.
墨西哥辣椒：No. It is true.梨子： No, really, it's just citrus.
墨西哥辣椒：Talent is a cheap call but for a man that wears too much plaid.
烦人的橙子： Hmm, I am pretty gassy.
墨西哥辣椒：Do you think without passion, I could do this? ♪ Tra-la-la-laaa ♪
(Green Apple weeps)
墨西哥辣椒：♪ Traaa-la-la-laa ♪
(Fruit basket fruits are screaming/catcalling)
木瓜: He's so beautiful!
墨西哥辣椒：No, no, thank you. Thank you! Do you have any requests?
梨子： Oh, hey, do you know any show tunes?
桃子： Free Bird! Do Free Bird!
烦人的橙子： Ooh-ooh! Knife! Knife!
墨西哥辣椒：Knife? I don't know that one.
烦人的橙子： No! Knife!
(''Knife cuts Jalapeño's top off)
(Fruit basket fruits scream, this time in horror)
烦人的橙子： Chili Gordo!
墨西哥辣椒：Amigo, you have cut me deeper than any woman I have ever met.
烦人的橙子： Actually, his name is Knife.
墨西哥辣椒：Yes, and someday... he will come to us all.
烦人的橙子： Geez, that's kinda dark.
墨西哥辣椒：And yet, there is still light.
墨西哥辣椒：The burning light of passion; it is now in your hands.
烦人的橙子： But I don't have hands. I'm an orange.
墨西哥辣椒：Nor do I. But yet, I'm still...
墨西哥辣椒：(chuckles) Yes, my friend.(Knife cuts him) I knew you wouldn't let me down. (Knife cuts him again) Ouch.
烦人的橙子： Thanks, Jalapeño.
墨西哥辣椒：Keep the passion burning, Orange. Keep it burning.