How to Encourage a Woman to Fall in Love with You


If you genuinely love and care about a woman, and want to be sure the feelings are reciprocated, you can try to get a woman to fall in love with you using the following steps. Although these are generalizations, and personalizing your actions according to your girlfriend's or crush's tastes is always the best bet, these hints should help give you some ideas to begin winning her heart.

Part One: Starting Off

1. Make her notice you. Do something that will make her take notice of you. Many women want a man who is strong but compassionate, who leads but listens, who is confident without being cocky. Remember this as you begin to get yourself noticed.

* Do something that shows you care about other people. Volunteer at your local food bank, give blood, bail a friend out of a sticky situation, organize a charity auction. Show her that there's more to you than meets the eye. She'll be impressed that you give back and curious about what else you have to offer.
* Excel at something you're good at, preferably in her company. What do you do well? It could be anything from tennis, rock climbing, or football, to humor, math, or debate. Whatever it is, stand out for excellence in that area. Calm confidence, not cockiness, will get you noticed in the right way.
* Put yourself out there. Remember: fortune favors the brave. If you're stuck in your room constantly, you're probably not using your time in the best way. And if you don't fail at least some of the time, you might never see results.

2. Take your time. These things take time. Don't expect to win her heart in a matter of days. Slow but steady wins the race. Set realistic expectations so that you're not disappointed if she doesn't fall for you immediately.

* If she gives you her number, perfect, but don't beg for it. Call her when you get her number, but not too much. Some days, give her a chance to call you! Girls generally like guys who at least give the appearance of having lots of options.

3. Form a game-plan. No, it doesn't need to be written down, and it doesn't need to involve little x's and o's on a whiteboard. Be strategic about what you do and you'll give yourself a better chance of winning a girl's heart. Be amateurish and you'll likely lower your chances.

* If you're in love with one girl, it's OK to focus on winning her heart. When love hits us, it's like a ton of bricks, and we often feel helpless. That's natural.
* If, however, you want to find love in general, try socializing with several different women. You'll increase your chances of finding someone you genuinely bond with, and rejection from one won't seem so bad if you have the possibility of another waiting in the wings. There are several other benefits to this strategy:
  * Women, like men, are also competitive when it comes to love. Maybe not the same way, but they are. If it looks like you're a hot commodity, women will be clamoring for you not just because they like you, but because they want to best other women.
  * You'll have a better idea of what you want. We often don't know what we want until we see it. Put yourself out there and chances are you'll find a woman you naturally gel with, instead of forcing it with someone you thought you knew.
  * Socializing with several women is not the same as being a player. If you want to find love, date around, but only romantically involve yourself with one woman at a time. Don't go into a relationship hoping to exploit or manipulate.

4. Make the effort to get to know her. Really find out who she is, what she stands for, where she's coming from. She will appreciate your interest in what makes her tick.

* People love talking about themselves. This is just the way things are. Don't forget to engage in conversation and give her information about yourself, but get her engaged in something she likes talking about and you'll find it's a lot easier going.
* One way to do this is to ask great questions. Ask about her passions ("What do you love to do?"), her inspirations ("What makes you tick?"), and her goals ("What do you want to achieve?"), for example.

5. Look your best. Whereas you may not care that much what you look like, women definitely do. It's not so much the clothes and the hygiene that's important; it's the message you send the rest of the world — that you take care of yourself, that you know your style, and that you're confident.

Part Two: Hinting At Love

1. Compliment her every once in a while. Remember though, guys, that a little goes a long way when it comes to compliments. You want to compliment her just enough so that she knows you like her more than a friend, but not so much that she thinks you're desperate or fishing for compliments in return.

* Compliment her skills and abilities first and foremost. She was born with her looks, but she worked for her smarts and her talents. Compliment her when her wonderful personality shines through.
* If you want to compliment her looks, stay away from complimenting her more feminine areas. Instead, stick to complimenting the following items:
   Eyes. Ex: "Your eyes are lovely. Do your parents also have blue eyes?"
   Hair. Ex: "Did you get a haircut? Short hair looks so good on you."
   Smile. Ex: "You have such an infectious smile! Every time you smile I can't help smiling myself."
   Clothes. Ex: "That's a pretty dress; did you make it yourself?"
   General style. Ex: "Your style is so unique. You really march to the beat of your own drum."
   Work a few really awesome compliments into your conversation, and you'll at least have her attention:
     "It's so easy talking to you. I feel like I could talk to you all day long." Women want to be interesting as well as pretty.
     "I like the way you think." If she's not the sharpest tool in the shed (and she knows it), telling her she's smart could backfire. This compliment says basically the same thing without the baggage.
     "It took a lot of courage for you to speak up like that." Women are very principled, and want men to notice their bravery, even if it's a different brand.

2. Gain her trust. You don't necessarily have to be her best friend, but show her why she deserves to trust you. Be there when she needs you. If she asks you to keep a secret, keep it. If you say you'll do something, follow through.

* Don't get into it just for sex. This will make you an untrustworthy guy in her book. Don't pressure her into doing things that she's not comfortable doing — it'll drive her further away.
* Impress her family if you can. Her family probably means a lot to her, and she wants her family's approval. Impress her family and you gain her trust. Dress nice, have manners, and be respectful of her parents' wishes.

3. Get her a small gift that she would like. Give her a token of your feelings. Maybe she would like some flowers or a pretty bookmark. If you don't know what she would like, try and figure it out. Here are some meanings women might attribute to various objects--

* Ring — Commitment. You want your bond to last as long as the ring does.
* Hand-Drawn Portrait — Inspiration. She is your inspiration; she makes you feel creative.
* Stuffed toy — Puppy Love. You'd love an excuse to get to cuddle with her.
* Flowers — Beauty. You think she's pretty and you want the whole world to know.

4. Start flirting. Find a way to gently start flirting with her. It's going to be hard at first, because you really, really like her, but it will get a lot easier as you begin to establish routines and get to know her better.

* Break the touch barrier. Touching her gently in safe, non-threatening places is key here. Avoid touching her on the thighs, stomach, breasts, and neck. Instead, when you talk to her, occasionally:
     Touch the back of her hand. You're making a point and you want to reinforce it with some physical contact.
     Touch the top of her arm. You know her a little better and you're giving her some encouragement.
     Touch her back. You're playfully teasing her or making her feel better.
* Smile and maintain good eye contact. A girl can tell a lot about how interested you are just by looking at your eyes. Likewise, a smile is just as important. Smile so that you project happiness, and have good eye contact so that you project confidence.
* Develop inside jokes or learn to playfully tease. Inside jokes are a great way to flirt and bond at the same time. They are conspiratorial, meaning that you both feel you are in on something together, and it's just you. Make an inside joke out of pretty much anything that you two experience together.
* When you playfully tease, make sure she knows you're teasing. Wink at her to communicate your sarcasm, or tell her that you're joking. Preferably, tease her about something she does really well so that she won't have to guess whether you're being serious or not.

5. Be mysterious but still available. Women love guys who have a little bit of mystery tied up in their persona. It doesn't take much to develop — don't share every detail, don't brag about the things you do, get other people to like (and vouch for) you — but it's hard to do correctly. At the same time, make yourself available to her. There's nothing worse than putting in all that hard work only to leave her hanging because you can no longer be found.

Part Three: Making the Final Push

1. Meet and impress her friends. Women often want their friends to approve of their romantic interests, both as a natural vetting process and a way to show off how lucky they are. Getting the approval of her friends is therefore key. Don't skip this step!

* Stay easygoing, interested, and kind. If her friends gently tease or joke about you, take it like a man and chuckle. When the situation presents itself, ask her friends questions about their lives and be genuinely interested in them. Do nice things for her friends, such as setting them up with a guy friend or boosting their self-esteem.
* Don't be overly nice or flirtatious. You're here to impress her friends in the same way you impressed her family. Don't give her the idea that you possibly like one of her friends more than you like her.

2. Ask her on a date. Once you're ready to make the final push, you need to ask her out on a date. A date will be the perfect opportunity for you two to learn more about each other, and perhaps to even steal a kiss.

* When you ask her, keep it casual. Just ask, "Hey, I have a couple tickets to [a movie that just came out], are you free on Friday night?" You don't have to call it a date for it to be a date.
If she asks, however, be confident and tell her it's a date.
* Do something that's exciting. An exciting date — such as a haunted house, a theme park with rollercoasters, or a sports event — helps release a powerful hormone (called oxytocin) that's responsible for feelings of bonding and togetherness.
* If it's the right moment, go in for a kiss. If you feel like she's a little hesitant, it's best to keep the kiss for the second or third date. Keep the kiss short and sweet, and whatever you do, don't try to shove your tongue down her throat.

3. Move at her pace. If she's ready to be thrown into a whirlwind romance, then by all means, roll with it. Chances are, however, that she'll want to take the relationship slower than you will. This is mostly a test of how patient you are for her and with her.

* Don't push her into anything she's uncomfortable with. It sounds funny to say, but you'll be a lot more successful listening to her wishes and not forcing anything.

4. Recover from your mistakes. In a relationship and dating, you're going to make mistakes. It's how you recover from your mistakes that defines you, and gives the woman a chance to truly love you.

* Don't be afraid to say sorry or admit fault. When you make a mistake, man up and say "Hey, I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that. Don't let me get away with that next time." Contrary to popular belief, it is manly to admit being wrong, because it takes a lot of guts.
* It's generally a good idea to let her win the argument, especially if she's really invested. Don't back down if you really believe it, and don't let her constantly push you around, but try to find a way to resolve the argument with her feeling good about it. You'll be happy you did!

5. Be the person you want to be. Ultimately, you have to show her who you are in your soul, at your very deepest, to give her the chance to love you. If you pretend to be someone else, she's only going to love a caricature of you. So don't be afraid to let down your barriers, get a little vulnerable, and show her who you really are. Chances are she'll love you for it.


1. Drop the three day calling rule. Don't leave her waiting!! Girls hate that, it leaves them confused.
2. Make the time to see her often. Even if she lives far away, use things like technology to your advantage. Be ready to put in the extra work.
3. Never talk negatively about her friends, even if she might be. Just be an ear when she needs one.
4. If you do love her, decide on the right time to tell her. Ask her in little way (Without revealing your true intention) on how she feels about people confessing their love for her. If she says sometimes she wishes someone would say that to her, by all means go for it. But if she says that if someone said those words (I love you) to her, it would feel weird, awkward almost, you probably have to wait a little.
6. Don't mock something she believes in. Believe in her, assure her that whatever it is she wants to do, and be by her side 100%.


Try not to get into arguments about silly things. Of course it's the fire that keeps the relationship alive, but have too many arguments and she'll feel like it's not worth it if every second you're going to argue about something minor. On the other hand, don't appear weak to her. Stand strong, but still uphold that fact that you have strong feelings for her.